A quest into the unknown...
It was 2006 and I was graduating from high school with no idea where I wanted to go or who I wanted to be. I had dreams of getting the hell out of the town I was raised in, so I joined the Marine Corps. I learned very quickly that the Corps was not for me. It was during this time in my life that I found an escape with alcohol. I could finally let go of my worries and live the lift I thought that I wanted.
Flash forward about 10 years, I was unhappy in my current relationship, simply doing what was expected of me, rather than following my dreams. After the relationship ended I moved back home at twenty-eight to live with my dad. I had acquired nearly sixty-thousand dollars of debt and a lifestyle filled with drugs, sex, and a lot of alcohol.
With no money to my name and a drinking habit to support, I got a job at a bar to pay the bills and began trying to plot out exactly where my life was headed. I was grateful for this job, and the chance to start over, but as the late nights out partying became more frequent, my journey of self-discovery was washed out by craft beer and expensive whiskey. Since the breakup, I had completely given up on myself and life had become a never-ending party that only a single bartender can understand. It wasn’t until a two-week trip to Paris, in 2017, that I finally saw a glimpse of the future that I wanted.
Coming home from that trip was one of the first times that I really sat down and analyzed my life and the habits I had acquired to deal with my problems. Internally, I had recognized for many years that I struggled with an addiction, but this was the first time in my life I ever admitted it.
I am definitely not perfect, and my first attempts at sobriety were flawed. I was constantly relapsing. A few months after admitting I had a problem I was caught drinking and driving. After losing my drivers license I began riding the bus and looking back, this was probably the greatest thing that could have happened to me at the time. There is not a lot to do on a bus, and most of the time, the commute is longer than a car ride, so I began reading and listening to podcasts to pass the time. It was in this time that I realized I needed a goal to help get my life back on track.
In many ways, a marathon was the hardest thing I could imagine doing. The previous year I had completed my first half marathon and the idea of running that twice was terrifying. It was the perfect obstacle that I could use to propel myself onto a new life path.
I didn’t know it then, but running was about to reshape my life.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
